“Boundaries” has become such a buzz word. A trendy catch phrase. Even I have herald “hold that line“! Every time! But do we really understand that the fortress we build around ourselves is designed to keep others out and to keep us in?
Everyone seems to agree that we need to secure ourselves against uninvited negative energy. Unwelcomed intrusions into our personal situations are to be stopped at the gate 🤚🏽 (Halt! Who goes there?) This is for emotional protection as well as physical safety. The consensus is that we are well within our right of peace to draw a line in the sand.
Ok. 👌🏽 I get that. But I wonder did we all get the mental health memo that once we draw that line, we should not be skipping our happy asses over to the other side? That line is not just for your intrusive “other”. IT’S FOR YOU TOO!!
I know you’ve never done this. Yep, I haven’t either (ugh we’re lying line crossers and I know it😩) . Have you ever observed someone declare that they never want so-and-so in their business again? They will never tell this person another thing, because they are negative and hateful. It has been trumpeted from the hills that all communication must cease, because the relationship is toxic. Then one day you call this someone.
“Hey. Whatcha doing?”
“Nothing. Sitting here talking to so-and-so?”
“Oh? I thought y’all weren’t cool anymore.”
“I know, but I heard their Grandma’s cousin’s daughter’s frog was sick so I just wanted to call and check on em.”
“Bit… Nevermind.” Click.
Look. We can’t build a guard tower and then go tip toeing out the gorge to peek over into your ousted friend’s business. No sneaking out the back door to check in. I’m not saying that you can’t have boundaries and still be cordial. I’m saying don’t overstep your boundaries and then complain when you get shot with a poison arrow. Stabbed in the back (ouch!).
Poisoned wells serve up buckets of poisoned water. If you scoop a sip, it’s your own fault you got sick. After all, YOU posted the sign that the well was poisoned 🤦🏽♀️ Sheesh!